In the hope that it would help others, I have pulled together an overview of my experience in dealing with anxiety. I wanted to be informative and helpful, so I compiled a list of my symptoms, what I think contributed to the anxiety and also what ended up helping me manage it. I am luckily now over the insomnia and nightly panic attacks, but I know I will forever be someone who has a tendency to have anxiety. Here and there, it will crop up, but hopefully I have tools in place to address it before it takes over. 

Symptoms:

• Racing thoughts, constant worrying
• Pounding heart, body in “fight or flight” at all times
• Panic attacks – chest seizing and shortness of breath, worse at night when trying to sleep
• Insomnia
• Lack of appetite
• Wired but tired feeling

What contributed to the anxiety:

• Daily high stress with work 
• Long, physical, exhausting days in the kitchen, running around getting business off the ground
• Skipping meals (usually breakfast and lunch) only eating once per day
• Not sleeping well or enough – part of a vicious cycle of less sleep, more anxiety, more anxiety, less sleep
• Drinking too much coffee
• Lack of days off, time to relax or decompress
• No time for outside hobbies or fun 
• Lack of self care or prioritizing own health

Suffice it to say, I was running on fumes. I did maintain a super clean diet during this time, although I was definitely not eating enough. I think this is one thing that helped me not completely go off the deep end. I’m not quite sure when I actually realized all this was a huge problem, but it became clear I needed to address it. 

 Combatting the anxiety – I worked on these 1 at a time and it took a while to add them all into my life:

• Started with acupuncture to help me sleep, as this was one one of the worst symptoms
• Was given a blend of Chinese herbs to also help me relax and sleep (given by my acupuncturist) – adaptogens such as reishi, maca, ashwaghanda, ginseng, rhodiola, and holy basil can help combat stress and anxiety
• Started taking magnesium by Natural Calm to handle stress and help with sleep
• Worked on a nightly routine that was conducive to sleep: less technology, taking a bath, quiet, dark bedroom
• Began reducing caffeine (this was a long process but even going down to 1 cup daily made a huge difference)
• Weekly yoga class or some form of self care such as a sauna
• Started meditating
• Remembering to slow down and eat. Also started to address gut issues
• Stepped away from stressful and anxiety inducing relationships in my life
• Made some changes with work to reduce stress
• Adopted a rescue kitty! (animals are magical)
• Started riding horses after a 10 year hiatus. Getting back to a hobby I love was a lifesaver
• Making time for socializing and fun (imagine that)

There are probably more details I am forgetting, but these feel the most important.

All this work was then followed by more work on my health that I had to face. Some of the lasting ‘damage’ that I am still working on:

• Hormone imbalances
• Exacerbation of gut issues
• Compromised immune function
• Weight gain
• Still easily startled and rattled
• Periodic sleep issues and nightly worrying

I wouldn’t wish my experience on anyone, but I know many people deal with similar issues. As I gain more perspective on what I went through, my hope is that somehow it can be used to benefit others. The worst feeling when I was awake at 3 a.m was that of being alone in my problems and that no one else was ‘crazy’ like I was. Recognizing that many of us have this shared experience can help with the recovery process and hopefully, hearing a bit of what I experienced can in some way be of service.